A Note on Shaming and Guilting Women

I’ve experienced a lot of shaming lately by someone I’m no longer holding space for and while I’ve ignored the majority of his messages over the last few weeks, I’ve decided he doesn’t have a right to talk to me the way he has been and he will be called out on his immature and uncalled for behaviour. I will not tolerate disrespect and I will not sit idly by as someone attempts to drag my name through the mud.

A little back story of the last couple weeks… He’s been trying to make me feel bad about moving on and feeling good about myself by calling me a whore and slut on top of almost every other name in the book… he’s also threatened to have my children taken away from me, threatened to share my private pictures publicly, and he’s had the police sent to my house on not one, but two occasions. The first one was sent to collect the gifts that he’d given me over the course of our relationship. Yes, gifts. I had an officer show up at my door telling me to give my GIFTS back to him, yet I can’t get them to make this fucker stop messaging and harassing me every other day through text and across social media platforms.

Fast forward to the current day… He stumbled upon my newly created profile on Tinder. Surprise, bitch! He then took it upon himself to reach out to me through yet another random phone number (every day it’s a new number from him) off the app and pretended that he was someone I was talking to on the app (newsflash… not talking to anyone on there, so nice try) and proceeded to call me a whore and a desperate slut, and insulted me for posting a sexy picture on my dating profile.

So, I don’t know.. you tell me? Do I sound desperate for dick here or??? 🤔

Here’s my profile:

Here’s his message:

And here’s the slutty pic he’s referring to:

Let’s be real for second here… This pic makes me feel like a fucking queen and I look amazing in it. I’m allowed to think I’m beautiful, in fact… all women are and they should. Not to mention that the outfit I’m wearing here covers more than the bikini I wear to the beach. I’m more covered than any other woman in bikini pics on Tinder, but seriously… who the hell cares. It’s tinder and it’s a giant thirst trap anyways. If you don’t like seeing women dressed scantily, close your fucking eyes and get off Tinder, otherwise get a grip on reality and shut your damn mouth.

That being said, he said I was desperate for dick. First of all, it’s dick. Men will literally fuck anything and if it was only penis I wanted I could get it without using the app… plus, if it’s orgasms I want, I’d rather just do it myself that way I know I will at least get the job done properly. If I just want to get laid then there’s also no problem with that providing I am being upfront and honest about it. It’s also Tinder. It’s a hookup app. I’m sorry, but I don’t know of anyone who hops on Tinder looking for marriage. Try Christian Mingle if that’s what you’re after. 

Women should be able to dress however they want, in whatever they feel good in, without fear of being shamed and guilted about feeling good about themselves. Also something to note before moving on… We do not dress like this for you, boy. We dress like this because it makes us feel powerful and sexy. It makes us feel good about ourselves.This particular photoshoot was done with 3 of the most powerful women I know and it was epic for our mental health and gave each of us an amazing boost in confidence. If judgy pricks would stop spreading their hate propaganda and slinging shade and judgement towards confident women, perhaps more women would actually start having confidence and feeling good about themselves. 

Ladies.. Just so you know, a man is only insecure about a woman when he knows she can do better.

Thoughts…  

Imagine a world where we all loved ourselves so much that the opinions of others consistently fell on deaf ears. 

Imagine a world where all women loved themselves so much that they weren’t afraid of exuding confidence and their natural sex appeal. 

Imagine a world where judgemental assholes kept their opinions to themselves and let others live their lives in peace.

Imagine a world where women were confident enough to walk away from shitty men and bad relationships on the first red flag. 

Imagine a world where women felt so good about themselves that they took no shit from any man ever again.

Imagine if women were able to stand up for themselves consistently because they were confident enough to stand their ground and say no when needed.

Each one of these points are things that most, if not all women struggle with. We struggle because we’ve spent generations being groomed to stay hidden and be obedient.

As a women who spent majority of my life conforming to appease the needs of others, who consistently put others before myself, and spent majority of my life hating who I was because I didn’t fit into societies standards of beauty, for me to actually feel good in my skin and stand up for myself when some douchebag keyboard warrior starts running their mouth is a fucking blessing and astronomically good for my mental health. (Run on sentence, I know.. it needed to be done.)

So, for those ignorant twats out there who feel it’s ok to talk to shit about another person for the sake of running your childlike, uneducated, and ignorant mouth, let’s get a couple things straight.

Sex shaming is wrong. If someone wants to simply use an app to get laid or is simply looking to get a piece, go for it. If someone wants to find a relationship, go for it. My profile is very clear that I’m not looking for a relationship… it’s also clear I’m not looking to just get laid. My intentions are clear and if you misconstrued my intentions to believe that I’m simply scouring for dick… that’s on you, mate.

Side note… It’s funny how women are being shamed by doing the exact things that men have been doing since the beginning of time. Men are only getting upset now because we aren’t so easily kept under their thumb anymore. They don’t like being treated the way they have been treating us for centuries.

Body shaming is wrong. We are entitled to wear what we want, when we want. Period. Just because I am wearing something sexy does not make me, or any women dressed in a similar manner, a whore. All women should feel confident in themselves and if we want to rock a sexy crop top and booty shorts in a boudoir photoshoot, then FUCKING DOOOO ITTTT – seriously ladies, do it… you will not regret it! You have no right to judge anyone, not a single soul on this planet, on how they choose to dress.

Not minding your own damn business is wrong. Simply put, if you have no space or role in my life your opinion on how I choose to live is absolutely none of your business. So go fuck yourself.

Behaving like a child and trying to tear others down because you didn’t get your way is wrong. This really needs no elaboration, but I’m going to give one anyways… If you are a grown ass man, you should behave like one. Rejection is not an excuse to behave like a toddler having a meltdown. Pickup your dignity and move on with your life. Your continued cycle of back and forth between spouting how much you love and miss someone to hating on them and calling them every name in the book displays not only your very limited mental capacity around adult relationships and maturity level, but also that you are incredibly unstable and you should seriously seek the help of a therapist. If someone doesn’t want you, they do not owe you or anyone else an explanation as to why. Continuing to pursue them after you’ve been told no is not going to make them change their mind, guaranteed. People are entitled to live their lives as they see fit and if living their life does not involve you, then you need to pull up your big boy panties and accept it.

After all of that, I will simply close with this.. In this particular situation, the last few weeks have proven to me that I most certainly made the right choice by following my gut instincts and cutting this person out of my life. I expected more from them and they failed miserably. It’s a shame, but it’s life. Many lessons were learned here, many that I should have learned from previous relationships but didn’t… and that’s what I will be taking away from this totally crazy situation.

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