The Importance of time + Finding the authentic YOU

The importance of time between relationships is crucial!! I can’t stress this enough. While you may want to jump into the next relationship or next bed as means to help “get over” your ex, please don’t. Relationships are hard and breakups can take a lot out of you. One of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever received and I know many others have received as well is, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” Eeek. Why though? I mean, sure, flings and randoms can be fun at times, but you are an emotional mess and do you really want to end up sobbing on some strangers shoulder because he just so happened to grab your ass like your ex? Ya, didn’t think so. Gross.

If your previous relationship or relationships didn’t work out due to common or previously before seen / expressed issues (trust issues, anger issues, commitment issues), chances are you have some work to do… ON YOU.

Jumping into another relationship without taking the time to heal and reflect on the issues is essentially moving your emotional baggage from one person to the next. You are basically taking your burdens and dumping them all onto someone else’s shoulders to deal with because you don’t want to carry them around on your own. Ouch.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Let’s be real for a minute, can we.

We ALL have problems.

We ALL have baggage.

Unless you work with a therapist on a regular basis and practice daily self-love, work diligently at managing your emotional and mental overwhelm – you got issues, girl. Own it. There’s nothing wrong with it and imagine how liberating it can be when you admit to and own your short comings.

My name is Sheena and I have trust issues. I fall in love to quickly. I feel deeply. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I struggle with communication. I am insecure. I lack confidence in myself most days. I procrastinate like a mother fucker, but I am a hard worker. I love with all my heart. I’m kind, giving, caring, yada yada yada.

Here I am. Yes I have issues, but I am aware of them and I am working towards fixing them. I am what I am, take me or leave me, but this is me.

Honesty.

IT’S LIBERATING.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not because you feel it is what is needed to make someone else happy. Ooohh, say that again, please.

REMEMBER THIS.

Stop attempting to cater to someone else’s wants / needs based on YOUR speculation and interpretation of the situation.

Life is wayyyy too short to live your life according to someone else’s standards or to live according to how you THINK other people want or need you to be. Understand that I used the word THINK here on purpose.

You do not know what the other person needs

So, by giving them what you THINK they need is actually a disservice to them. You are denying them the authentic you and you are assuming that they need something that you are not or that you can’t give them if you were being true to yourself. You are lying to both yourself AND your partner in this equation.

Take a step back and reflect on what I just said there. Let it sink in for a minute.

While it may be easier to just cater and adjust your wants / needs / behaviour to appease, don’t. Stay true to yourself.
Honour yourself in these moments. Deep breaths.
 
 

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