Broken pieces – uncovered.
Steadfast walls – softened.
Fears and inhibitions – exposed.
Vulnerability – allowed.
I like that.
It’s the covered up, untouched, hidden truth of your dynamic makeup. It’s the untalked about and highly coveted YOU.
Those parts you hide and shy away from because you’re afraid of them – they’re beautiful.
You are afraid of what others will think about them. These are the aspects of YOU that you bury because you feel you will be judged or that other’s will use them against you, use them to harm you.Those fragile places, those broken parts, the cracks, the flaws, the burden and pain that you carry… those are what makes you, YOU, and those are what makes you so incredibly beautiful.Click To Tweet
Vulnerability is POWERFUL.
Venerability is SEXY.
Vulnerability is NOT a weakness, as many seem to believe. As I was lead to believe in the years leading up to this moment.
Opening yourself up to vulnerability is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding things you can do for yourself. Opening up, letting people in, feeling emotion, SHOWING emotion – liberating!
I learned from an early age that feelings were weak. Tears were weak. Emotions were weak. As a woman, I was automatically the weaker sex. My emotions, and my intuition, my feelings – it all made me inferior and I was told that I should hide it. I needed to be strong. The world would eat me alive if any signs of weakness were exposed. I should never let anyone see me cry and I should hide my emotions. I should never let anyone in, because they will inevitably hurt you, keep everyone at a distance, at arms length. Protect yourself.
You know what happened… I listened. How could I not. If it wasn’t TOLD to me directly, it was SHOWN to me by the actions of those around me. I listened for a long time and I can’t even begin to tell you how badly it messed with my head.
I’ve spent the better portion of my life trying to force myself to fit into this tiny little box outlining how I should be. How I should feel. Look. Act. Behave. Work. Present myself. Conduct myself. Express myself…
I spent the better portion of my life hiding who I was because I was afraid of being judged, disliked, unlovable, vulnerable, and… weak.
I spent the better portion of my life hiding who I was because I was trained to believe that who I was was not good enough and that I was… unlovable and easy to leave behind or walk away from.
Fuck. That. Shit.
I’m not doing that anymore.
My scars. My love. My heart. My intuition. My dreams. My goals. My aspirations. My pain. My shame. My joys. My triumphs. My failures. My sadness. My fears.
These are all my strengths, my super powers, and I am honouring each and every one of them. I am honouring the unapologetic – ME
I’m going to get real with you for a moment… If you are ready to heal, or think you are ready to heal, then there are some points in the journey that as much as you want to deny or ignore, will need to be faced and dealt with.
Healing from old wounds means EXPOSING them. You can’t heal through your trauma’s if you continue to pretend they don’t exist. You can’t neglect them, deny them, or push them away. You can’t numb them out and hope they disappear.
You know what I’ve been doing in the years leading up to this moment of realization? I’ve been numbing out my pain, hoping it would just heal itself and go away. I did so with drugs, alcohol, and seeking love and validation in all the wrong places. I have no shame in my past. I’m human. I’ve fucked up… a lot. I own it. I worked through my issues in the past the best way I knew how, the ONLY way I knew how. I covered them up. Just like majority of society has been conditioned to do as well.
Each and every scar, wound, broken piece, emotion, feeling. The feelings of shame, anger, sadness, grief, joy. Every broken heart, every failure, every shameful experience – each one of them have been stepping stones towards not only shaping who I am as an enlightened being, but have also been steps towards uncovering my authentic and true self.
I’m a healer. I’ve always been a healer, I just haven’t fully understood the magnitude of my presence or how to use my gifts completely. I am learning. We are all learning. That’s ok. I will always be learning – and so will you.
WHAT THIS LOOK LIKE IN LOVE.
I am drawn to those who bear their truth to me.
Show me your broken parts, the parts where the light gets in, tell me about your past, your pain, your suffering, and your journey through life and all the healing.
Your truth is humbling.
Your faith and trust in me is grounding.
Show me where you came from, the bits and pieces of life that made you, YOU.
I fall easily for those who show me the vulnerable parts of their soul – Vulnerability is the biggest turn-on of life. I don’t want to see how tough you are. I want to see WHO you are.
It’s absolutely beautiful.
It’s also very rare.
I fall for these traits, these gestures, these moments of mutual trust and understanding because the broken little girl in me sees these battle wounds and scars, and she wants to kiss them better. The broken little girl feels and understands your pain and she wants to hold your hand, walk through the darkness with you and guide you through the scary parts. She wants to help take away your pain and show you how you too can heal yourself. She wants to help you uncover your demons and help give you the strength needed to stare them in the eye and say, “I CAN DO THIS.” She wants to remind you that you are not alone.
You are powerful. You are strong.
Love is finding someone who sees your battle wounds, shame, scars, and darkness and loves you more because of them.
Let’s revel, rejoice, and celebrate in that which tried to take us down, but couldn’t.
You’ve survived everything up until now. You are a warrior. A survivor. Never forget that. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.